i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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