Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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