Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
