Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
