She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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