Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Gay?
German.
Pity.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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