he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just google imaged poop.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
