Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
