rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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