I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
