Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
