Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
