i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
