Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
