Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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