Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
