Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
