ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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