God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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