Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
