i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
