I cannot find my penis.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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