Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
