Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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