My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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