My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
