this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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