If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
