An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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