lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
