I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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