Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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