He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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