I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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