Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I wish you could order shots online.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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