I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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