textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
