All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
