I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
