Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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