I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
