the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
