pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just found a bag of teeth...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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