that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
