My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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