I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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