Swine flu is the new snow day.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
