This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
