I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
