physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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