yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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