I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
