Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
