i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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