guys are not supposed to queef...right?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
