the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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