corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
her facebook's as public as her vagina
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
