I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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