I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
