How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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