you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think your dad took our porno
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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