that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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