suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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