the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just cut my nipple shaving
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
